Dirk-ism

‎6:15 am November 20, Dirk's downstairs watching infomercials while Ryan sleeps on the chair next to him -

Dirk: Dad can I use your phone please?
Ryan: Why?
D: I have to call this number! (Shows me his 877#) It is a secret gift for you so I can't tell you why.
R: No phone unless you tell me who you are calling.
...D: It is for a Belly Buster machine I saw on TV... It's free for 14 days and it will get rid of your big fat belly!
R: WHAT!?!
D: (20 second pause) So can I use your phone?
R: No. Go back to bed!